We the students of Chadwick School, in order to form a more perfect academy, establish the Core Values, provide for the incoming freshmen, and secure the blessings of Margaret Chadwick to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution.

Article I: The Legislative Branch

All legislative powers herein granted shall be vested in a Student Council, which shall consist of the popular kids and the college hopefuls.

The Student Council shall have the power to outlaw certain Gen Alpha slang phrases, to produce modified week schedules that occur more frequently than normal week schedules, and to promise vending machines and food trucks year after year (and not deliver).

Legislators shall be chosen by direct election via Google Forms definitely not filled out on student phones. The voting period shall fill a couple hours on the one day of school you really don’t want to be sick.

Article II: The Executive Branch

The executive power shall be vested in a school Director, assisted by a vice All Student Body President. The principal shall hold this office for a term known as “forever,” and the ASB president shall face reelection each year by the electoral high school.

The role of the executives shall be to faithfully execute the rules to a tee, including confiscating student phones and mandating attendance at Community Connections and Friday SOCIAL.

Before they take up their new roles, the incoming principal and ASB president shall take the following Oath of Affirmation: “I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will, to the best of my ability, uphold the core values, opt in, and preserve the legacy of Margaret Chadwick.”

Article III: The Judicial Branch

The judicial Power of Chadwick School shall be vested in one Honor Council. The Council shall hold hearings to fairly impose punishments upon breakers of the Honor Code, including but not limited to suspension, expulsion, and subjection to a 24 hour loop of Benson Boone’s Mystical Magical.

The Honor Council shall oversee such crimes as academic dishonesty, violation of the CUP, breaking the core values, slacking on group projects, littering, playing mini-Tetris or 2048 Cupcakes in class, and making negative comments against the legitimacy of a dolphin sports mascot.

WickMedia shall act as the campus “Big Brother,” always lurking with cameras to capture evidence of student crime to be published in the yearbook as a form of public shaming.

Article IV: Rights of the Students

Full faith and credit will be given between classes. In other words, students running late to classes after leaving Mr. Wallace’s Economics class shall not be penalized.

In addition, no council of any form shall infringe upon the students’ rights to pay reasonable prices for cafeteria food, to complain about slow WiFi, to purchase chocolate muffins, or to play a senior prank at the end of the year.

Article V: The Amendment Process

Amendment proposals must originate from the accord of ⅔ of students or a few redundant Google Forms surveys. Proposed amendments must be ratified by a vote of ⅔ of students or their corresponding StuCo representatives.

Article VI: Supremacy

This constitution shall be the supreme law of the land, at least until another APUSH or AP Gov student takes it upon themself to throw in everything they’ve got for a chance at extra credit rewriting the document.

We the students of Chadwick School hereby agree to uphold the Core Values. We have hereunto subscribed our Names,

Student McMainsheet

Roessler Rat #4

Barack Obama

Margaret Chadwick